“Gossip” is “trifling talk, esp. about other persons; an idle talker; discuss other persons’ affairs.” We often talk about people behind their backs. It would be nearly impossible not to. Often times talking about others is done out of a desire to help, to share concerns. Sometimes, it is not. How do we talk about people in a good way? We ask ourselves three questions…
IS IT TRUE?
Before we talk about someone, let’s first ask if what we are saying is true. It has always been a sin against God to engage in false witness (Exodus 20:16; 23:1). C. S. Lewis wrote, “A little lie is like a little pregnancy – it doesn’t take long before everyone knows.”
If a matter is not true, don’t repeat it. If a matter is true, ask yourself…
IS IT GOOD?
“If no one ever spoke unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth” – Alan Herbert. By all means, if a matter is true and it is good, repeat it! It would be encouraging to the person talked about, to hear someone inspired by their example.
If it is true and it is not good, remember what the Bible says about whisperers (Proverbs 16:28; 18:8; 26:20) and busybodies (2 Thessalonians 3:11).
So, if it is true but it is not good, before you repeat a matter, ask yourself…
IS IT NECESSARY?
Is it bad and not necessary? Don’t repeat it! “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered” (Proverbs 11:13).
To slander is to dishonor by injurious reports; defame. Consider what the Bible says about slander:
Don’t do it – Psalm 15:3; 101:5
You will lose friends – Prov. 20:19
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In fact, he is a “devil” – 2 Tim. 3:3
So, before you repeat a matter, ask yourself – Is it true? Is it good? If it is not good – Is it necessary to repeat the matter?
HOW TO REACT IF YOU SLANDER:
Purify your heart – Matthew 15:19
Put it away – Ephesians 4:31 (Colossians 3:8); 1 Peter 2:1
“If your lips would keep from slips
Five things observe with care –
Of whom you speak,
To whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
–Paul Holland