James Monroe and James Madison were close friends. They moved in the same political circles and lived close to one another. Their homes (Ashlawn-Highland and Montpelier, respectively) were in the shadow of their mentor, Thomas Jefferson (Monticello). While Jefferson was president, Madison was his secretary of state. Monroe was sent to France to finish working on the purchase of the Louisiana Territory, for which he usually gets the credit.
It was a time of international tension as the British kept boarding American ships and impressing run-away British soldiers into service and helping themselves to other American goods. Monroe was sent to Britain to work out an amicable solution. He ran into British recalcitrance. What happened next has puzzled historians for the past two hundred years. His immediate supervisor, James Madison, turned quiet.
Even worse, Jefferson recalled Monroe. For a period of two years, the three friends had a cool, if not distant, relationship. In hindsight, it appears that Monroe did not adequately explain the challenges of dealing with the British, especially after getting the Louisiana Territory for a steal. Madison did not communicate effectively with Monroe to the extent that he understood the challenges of negotiating with new parties. Jefferson, himself, did not communicate that it was Congress that pressured him to recall Monroe. It was not his own choice.
It can be so very damaging and hurtful for you and me to jump to conclusions and draw assumptions that are not based on word-of-mouth communication. It is easy to say, “I know what he meant.” It is easier to be wrong about “what he meant.” How often we start talking, thinking, or acting based on information we do not have!
Years ago, I made a statement several times about one of our mission team members. I meant the comment as a joke but after the third time, she asked me what I meant. Then she told me what she thought I meant. Clearly, the two were not the same! If she had not asked me for clarification, she could have jumped to the conclusion that I was saying something critical (it could have been taken that way) and assumed that I was being rude. To her credit, she was more mature and asked me to clarify. I also quit making that comment.
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What harm does it do to clarify what someone has said? It is simply a matter of saying, “What did you meant by what you said?” That could be followed up by, “What I understood you to mean was…” Then, have the humility to accept their word for what they meant. It is worse to say, “I don’t believe that’s what you meant!” We are not omniscient.
In Acts 21, after encouragement from James in the church in Jerusalem, the apostle Paul took some Jewish Christians to the temple to complete a vow they had made. But then Jews came down from Asia and, seeing Paul with a Gentile, Trophimus, the next day, they jumped to the conclusion that Paul had taken Trophimus into the temple! Paul was arrested and spent the rest of the book of Acts defending himself against false assumptions.
Solomon said, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Prov. 18:13).
–Paul Holland
