Executive editor of The Weekly Standard, Fred Barnes, has written an article in the recent issue (June 19th, pgs. 11-12) about Donald Trump. The title is “Rules of Disorder: The President Leads Himself Astray.” He begins by stating that President Trump has three rules:
1. When you are right, you fight.
2. Controversy elevates message.
3. Never apologize.
I am not interested in critiquing Barnes, his article, or President Trump (not primarily). But it is that last point that caught my attention and my cogitations. Barnes says that Newt Gingrich, an advisor to Trump, says the president does not apologize because he thinks it shows weakness. Barnes writes, “An apology by a confident leader can build loyalty, respect, and an expectation of being treated fairly.”
I offer an example from the other political party. President Bill Clinton was moving down in opinion polls following the out break of the Monica Lewinsky scandal – until he admitted what he did. Then, the public swung behind him, rightly or wrongly. His “apology” (observe the quotation marks) was enough to carry him through impeachment hearings and kept alive his wife’s aspirations to be president.
One of the behaviors I think we dislike most about politicians is the inability that so many of them have of admitting they are wrong and/or accepting responsibility for their wrong decisions. But as Mom use to say, “As we point our finger at others, we have four pointing back at us.”
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Barnes concludes his article with this paragraph: “It’s important for Trump to give his Christian faith some breathing room at the White House. He’d soon realize that he’s wrong on occasions, that controversies can be counterproductive, and that an apology or two would show strength and self-discipline.”
Whether you agree with Barnes’s view of Trump or not, he makes some good points about the strength of apologies. The word “apologize” is not in the Bible. But there are other concepts that carry the same idea. Like “repentance” – used 73 times. Before you can repent, you have to admit you made a mistake. That means taking responsibility for what you have done or said wrong. If we repent to our fellowman, then it requires admitting we’re wrong.
Pride and its counterpart, humility, also suggest the idea of apologizing. Pride (used 55 times) keeps one from repenting, from admitting he/she was wrong. Pride suggests that I always do the right thing or say the right thing. Of course, that is simply not true. So, humility (99 times) is the ability to admit you are wrong, to admit you may have said the wrong thing, to admit you don’t know everything and can’t read other peoples’ minds.
So, yes, apologizing shows strength. It shows strength of character. It shows humility and dependency. Humility and dependency build loyalty – why be loyal to someone who has no need of anything from you? Humility and dependency also earn the respect of others because you show that you are in touch with reality. Everyone else knows and sees you are imperfect. When you apologize, it shows that you know that too. Apologizing also helps with character because it does mean you treat others fairly. They may be right. Recognize that. Even if it means admitting you are wrong.
Here’s my political statement: Our president has a lot to learn. But, do we apologize when we should?
–Paul Holland
