We began two weeks ago, considering the power of guilt. The question we want to ask today is – how should we handle guilt? There are positive and negative ways to handle guilt. Our society, largely, handles guilt inappropriately. For example, many (most?) simply want to turn a blind eye to their guilt. But, the state of our health (physically and mentally) testifies to the fact that we cannot ignore our consciences.
Many also try to downplay their guilt. This is a natural reaction from those who have not had their consciences educated in any way by the word of God. Yet, when we downplay our feelings of legitimate guilt, we are actually downplaying the cost of sin and the price our society pays for our collective sins.
At the other extreme are those who amplify their feelings of guilt. Parents put tremendous pressure on their children to make good grades, perhaps even insisting the children make all “As.” Then, when the child reaches high school or college and gets into a class where he/she is not capable of making an “A,” he or she is wracked with self-imposed guilt. It is not legitimate.
Listen to the words of the apostle Paul: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all” (1 Tim. 1:15). He will write the same sentiments in Ephesians 3:8 and 1 Corinthians 15:9. Yet, in 1 Corinthians 15:10, he goes on to say that he found grace from Jesus Christ. Increasing our feelings of guilt for no other reason than to make ourselves feel bad does not resolve the issue.
In fact, punishing ourselves is a form of “works righteousness.” Other religions, like Islam and Buddhism, practice self-flagellation. At the FHU lectureship in 2015 (I wrote the quote and the date in the margin of my Bible, Feb. 5th), David Wright commented, “Self punishment is a form of self-righteousness.” We do this often to ourselves. I once lost a pocket knife Rachel gave me. I felt so badly about being so irresponsible, that I put off buying a replacement for a long time. Did my feelings of guilt solve any problem? No.
But we often think that we are doing the right thing by bearing a grudge against ourselves, refusing to forgive ourselves. We are punishing ourselves, prolonging the experience of peace and forgiveness. The quotation from David Wright is found in the margin of my Bible at Colossians 2:20-23 which states:
“If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!”(which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.”
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Beating ourselves up for doing wrong does not solve the issue.
So, how do we resolve the issue of guilt? First, we have to examine whether the feelings are legitimate or illegitimate. Illegitimate feelings of guilt are caused my improper expectations – either those put on me by someone else (parents, friends, society), or by myself. If those are the source of my feelings of guilt, I need to talk myself out of those feelings. I have been “over-conditioned” to feel guilty and I need to remind myself of the truth.
If the feelings of guilt are legitimate, then I need to do what Jesus says to do to deal with those feelings. I may have to change my behavior if feelings of guilt originate from sinful behaviors. I need to obey Jesus Christ and find forgiveness and grace in His blood; then, as a Christian, I need to remind myself that I live in His gracious forgiveness (1 John 1:7-9). That does not mean I ignore what I have done wrong.
If I can make amends for my wrong, as Zaccheus did (Luke 19:1-9), then I make amends. I need to learn from what I have done wrong and work to not do it again. To say, “I’m sorry,” and continue doing the same thing suggests that I don’t understand the words “I’m sorry.”
Isaiah, the prophet, tells us that Jesus took our wounds and by that choice, we are “healed” (53:5-6). Jesus received the punishment for our sins. Once we come to grips with that theological fact, then we can turn our feelings of guilt into feelings of thanksgiving.
–Paul Holland
