Imagine for a moment a man walks into my office and asks to talk about his wife. He begins by telling me that he and his wife have a wonderful marriage and have been happily committed for several years. They never fight, and they never bicker, but he says that something does not feel right. Upon further prying, I discover the reason for their lack of fights is because of a lack of honesty. The man has harbored resentment, anger, frustration, questions, and doubts about his wife for his whole marriage. He never tells her any of these things, nor any of the things he is wrestling with in his life. Would you classify this as a healthy relationship?
Of course not. But in many ways this often describes our personal relationship with God, does it not? We often wrestle with doubts, fears, and questions, which we are terrified to verbalize to Him. We are afraid that by admitting to the doubts all of us struggle with, we will be committing blasphemy or disrespecting Him. But if we allow these doubts and fears to fester deep in our soul, then one of two things will inevitably occur. We will either eventually explode with all of the things building up inside of us and walk away from God, or begin to distance ourselves from Him, so that we do not feel much of anything at all. Both of these will lead to a heartless, passionless, and loveless marriage with God. So what do we do?
In Genesis 32, Jacob did something that no other man ever physically did—he wrestled with God. He refused to let God leave until God would bestow upon him a blessing. This tenacious, honest, and passionate expression towards God not only led to Jacob receiving the blessing, but also led to him receiving the name that God’s chosen people would share. This wrestling match with God was not only commended by God, but became the turning point in the life of Jacob (Hosea 12:2-6). Jacob received the blessing only after he wrestled with God. He received his name only after he was willing to struggle with the Lord. Perhaps we can learn from Jacob that being a Christian does not equate to living a life of false serenity with God, but rather being a Christian demands sincerity and even the occasional struggle.
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Whether we follow the example of Jacob, Jeremiah (Lamentations 5; Jeremiah 20), the man after God’s own heart (Psalm 13;22;35), or even the Angel of the Lord (Zechariah 1:12), having a sincere relationship with God demands honesty with God. That means confidently going before Him and sharing our questions, doubts, emotions, and fears, even going so far as to be willing to find answers and peace by wrestling with God.
Bishop Darby
