I have been fascinated by the psychology of criticism for a long time.
We all know people who are chronic critics. It’s a lifestyle. It’s their way of trying to control those around them.
Jesus outed such people in Matthew 11:16-19. He used two games that children of his day commonly played to illustrate the hypocrisy of habitual criticism – funeral and wedding.
There were always lots of kids hanging around the marketplace and they were always looking for something to do. The most popular games were the ones that involved lots of people. Since both weddings and funerals involved large numbers of participants and both involved processions that could parade through the market and pick up everyone who wanted to play, it was a common sight to see such a group approaching and calling out to other children, “Come play wedding with us!” And the procession would grow.
But there are always some . . . They would say, “I don’t want to play wedding; I want to play funeral” and they refused to join the group. Later, having finished the “wedding game’” the group would agree to play “funeral.” The props were changed and the now-solemn parade re-traced the route to the imaginary grave-site. En route, they again passed the critic who had refused to join the wedding procession. They called out their invitation and the response was . . . you guessed it, “Now he wants to play wedding!”
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Don’t be discouraged by criticism. Remember, criticism is an effort to stop something – to tear something down. It involves no investment. The other side of the criticism coin is encouragement . . . participation . . . building something.
That’s a much more rewarding lifestyle.
Which road? Your choice.
Ken Stegall