“Betty” had tried to tell him no, but he had kept touching her. She had been so excited to have been asked out by an older guy that she tried to act more sophisticated and more mature than she felt. Now she kept having thoughts about what had happened and didn’t know what she should do.
The Bible records the greatest good that a human has ever done – the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sins. The Bible also records the worst evil that humans have ever done to each other – murder and rape. The Bible records two incidences of rape – the first was of Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, in Genesis 34. The second is in 2 Samuel 13 and it will be the focus of our attention in this study.
THE ABUSE OCCURS – 2 Samuel 13:1-14:
Absalom (son #3 of King David, after Chileab) was, with Tamar, David’s children through Maacah, daughter of King Geshur. Amnon was David’s firstborn through Ahinoam.
Amnon, through a scheme with his cousin, Jonadab, gets Tamar alone in the room with Amnon. In the original text, the Hebrew in verses 8-14 is written in a way that slows the action down. The historian really wants us to see Amnon’s actions, almost frame-by-frame as a movie, and watch as the lust grows in his heart until he bears fruit in the act of raping his half-sister.
Amnon rapes his half-sister, Tamar (vs 14).
There are unbearable consequences to such sexual abuse. Victims often ask themselves, “Why me?”
HOW TO OVERCOME – 2 Samuel 13:15-19:
Verse 15 shows that Amnon’s “love” was not love. It was not selfless. It was pure selfishness. His passion for himself, for fulfilling a desire in his own wicked heart is what moved him to perform this act of horrible wickedness against his half-sister.
Tamar goes into mourning because her virginity was violated (vs 19).
Victims generally feel guilty. They fell guilty that they did something to bring on the attack. They feel guilty about lying about the incident, or not talking to anyone about it. They feel guilty about not being stronger and not being able to overcome their feelings quicker. They also feel that others – not just their attacker – cannot be trusted. What people do in public is very different from what they do in private.
One person said that a physical abuse is not just physical – “they invade your soul.”
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A victim of sexual abuse shares these 9 steps in the healing process:
1. Recognize that you – alone – are powerless to heal the damage done. You need God’s help. Trust Him. God did not leave you alone nor work against you in this incident.
2. Acknowledge that God is love and wants you to be victorious over the horrible experience. You will heal. You will have a bright future. You are a survivor.
3. The abuser is the one responsible for this act. Work through your feelings of guilt and recognize that he/she is the one ultimately responsible.
4. Return to the Bible and its teachings that you are worthwhile and God loves you.
5. Share your feelings with God in prayer – the negative feelings and the positive feelings. Share also with someone whom you trust. To heal, you must accept the validity of your feelings, express them to those you can, and deal with those feelings.
6. Recognize that while you are not responsible for the abuse, you are responsible for how you react and how you respond.
7. Accept God’s help in the process of forgiving those who have offended you. And it is not wrong to pray that justice will be done and that the evil person will receive the proper punishment.
8. Work at maturing in your relationship with God and with others. Accept the pure love of others. Learn to trust again.
9. Allow God to use you to help and serve others.
For victims of sexual abuse, healing is available through God and caring Christians.
Paul Holland
