Did you place this game when you were in middle school? The first one to see a Volkswagen Beetle gets to punch someone – and “No punch backs!” Our middle-schooler started us playing that game again. The interesting thing about it is that you start looking for “Bugs”. You see them everywhere. It’s amazing how many people drive Bugs, when you start looking for them.
Some people are that way which it comes to faults. They are constantly on the lookout for flaws so they can criticize someone. Do you look for flaws in your child? If you look for them, you’ll find them. Rachel and I made up our minds when the girls were little that we would not go through the “Terrible Twos” and we did not. We did have lots of “Terrific Two” moments, though. It depends on what you are looking for.
Do you look for faults in your spouse? Has he or she received praise, a raise, a promotion, etc., lately and you haven’t? Out of feelings of jealousy or inadequacy, you decide to start picking out flaws so you can tell yourself, “Well, he/she is not as great as everyone thinks”? If you look for flaws, you will certainly find them. Do you look for things to criticize in your boss?
On the other hand, if we constantly look for good things to see in others, we’ll always have good things to say about others. It is all in how we use our minds. Generally speaking, every negative attribute has a positive side as well. A person who is hard-headed (a negative trait) is also a person who is probably persistent (a positive trait). We can encourage and praise those actions, words, or behaviors that are good and positive. If we look for them, we’ll find them.
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King Ahab was a wicked, wicked, wicked king. God sent a prophet to him no less than eight times, trying to convince Ahab to repent. On one occasion, King Ahab “tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and fasted, …and went about despondently” (1 Kings 21:27). For that one, if minor, act of repentance, God blessed King Ahab.
It’s a whole lot more enjoyable and constructive to get “punched” with a compliment then with criticism. Try it. You’ll like it.
–Paul Holland
