Like a Father
INTRODUCTION:
A. Text: 1 Thessalonians 2:9-12
B. [S1] “Fathers, nurture your children in the training and correction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
C. [S2] (1 Th 2:11-12 NIV) For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, {12} encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
D. [S3] “What Does a Dad Do?” by Erma Bombeck
Last year I received a letter too late to use for Father’s Day, but it is still relevant. A single mother had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was “What do I tell him a father does?”
When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, “What do fathers do?” As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry. They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren’t afraid to go into the basement, mowed the lawn, and tightened the clothesline to keep it from sagging.
It wasn’t until my husband and I had children that I was able to observe firsthand what a father contributed to a child’s life. What did he do to deserve his children’s respect? He rarely fed them, did anything about their sagging diapers, wiped their noses or fannies, played ball, or bonded with them under the hoods of their cars.
What did he do?
He threw them higher than his head until they were weak from laughter. He cast the deciding vote on the puppy debate. He listened more than he talked. He let them make mistakes. He allowed them to fall from their first two-wheeler without having a heart attack. He read a newspaper while they were trying to parallel park a car for the first time in preparation for their driving test.
If I had to tell someone’s son what a father really does that is important, it would be that he shows up for the job in good times and bad times. He’s a man who is constantly being observed by his children. They learn from him how to handle adversity, anger, disappointment and success.
He won’t laugh at their dreams no matter how impossible they might seem. He will dig out at 1 a.m. when one of his children runs out of gas. He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them. When he is wrong and makes a mistake, he will admit it.
He sets the tone for how family members treat one another, members of the opposite sex, and people who are different than they are. By example, he can instill a desire to give something back to the community when its needs are greater than theirs.
But mostly, a good father involves himself in his kids’ lives. The more responsibility he has for a child, the harder it is to walk out of his life.
A father has the potential to be a powerful force in the life of a child.
Maybe you’ll get a greeting card for your efforts. Maybe not. But it’s steady work.
— Erma Bombeck, Field Enterprises
E. In 1 Thessalonians 2, the Apostle Paul likens his work among the Christians in Thessalonica as a mother (vs. 7-8) and a father (vs. 9-12).
1. On Mother’s Day, we observed from this text: “Just Like a Mother.”
2. Today, on Father’s Day, let us observe from this text what Paul teaches about what it means to be a father – “Like a Father.”
F. [S4] A Godly Father…
I. [S4A] SHOWS HIS CHILDREN HOW TO WORK (v. 9).
A. (1 Th 2:9 NKJV) For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God.
1. “Labor” “has reference to hard, wearisome, labor which brings on fatigue” (Kelcy 46).
2. “Toil” “describes something of the hardship and struggle that accompanied the labor” (Kelcy 46).
B. “If Paul was a husband/father today, his work ethic, his morals, his manner of life would preach a message as powerful as” anything he might try to teach (Winkler 506).
C. [S5] Paul set (and we must set) and example of…
1. [S5A] Labor.
a. Fathers, it is important that we teach our children to have a good work ethic. Lessons taught and learned: necessity of working to make a living, integrity, doing your best in everything — even your work.
b. “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” — Colossians 3:23.
2. [S5B] Labor in the kingdom. Lessons taught and learned: The work of the church is important to me. It is worth my time and effort.
II. [S6] & [S6A] TEACHES HIS CHILDREN THE BIBLE (v. 9).
A. (1 Th 2:9 NKJV) For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God. See also vs. 8, 13.
B. Paul and the other teachers worked hard while they were in Thessalonica so as not to be a burden on the brethren there. He also worked just enough so that he could provide for his needs, but even more importantly, so he could busy himself with what he REALLY wanted to do, that to which he had given his life: TEACHING AND PREACHING CHRIST!
1. Paul’s “secular” work was tentmaking (Acts 18:3). He did this to “pay the bills.” This work was not an end to the means, but a means to the end of his true life’s work: PREACHING CHRIST!
2. He was an Apostle first, a tentmaker “on down the line.” He began most of his letters with this self-identification:
[S7] “Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated to the gospel of God” (Romans 1:1; see also 1 Cor. 1:1; 2 Cor. 1:1; Gal. 1:1; Eph. 1:1; Col. 1:1; 1 Tim. 1:1; 2 Tim. 1:1; and Titus 1:1).
C. [S8] “If Paul were a husband/father today, he would take/make the time to teach his children the Bible and help them be what God wanted them to be” (Dan Winkler 507-508).
D. [S9] “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath [“do not exasperate your children” NIV], but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” — Ephesians 6:4.
1. “As fathers, we are not to exasperate [‘provoke … to wrath’] our children (cf. Col. 3:21). We are to help them mature properly [‘nurture them’] by sharing with them the instruction [‘chastening’] and the exhortation [‘admonition’] of Jesus” (Winkler 508).
2. Who is responsible? Not their mothers, their siblings, their Bible school teachers, their peers! “Fathers”!
III. [S10] & [S10A] IS A GOOD EXAMPLE (vs. 10).
A. (1 Th 2:10 NKJV) You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe;
1. “Devoutly” — “Holy” – “a term describing dedication to the service of God” (Kelcy 47).
2. “Justly” — “Righteous” – “indicates conformity to God’s norm for living” (Kelcy 47). It “refers to integrity, uprightness of character, and behavior” (WWW 166).
3. “Blamelessly” – “Blameless” – “emphasizes … the absence of reproach” (Kelcy 47). Literally, “not able to find fault in” (WWW 166).
B. A young minister stated that, at one period of his life, he was nearly an infidel.
[S11] “But,” said he, “there was one argument in favor of Christianity which I could never refute — the consistent conduct of my father.” (BI; Topic: Example).
C. [S12] Abraham Lincoln said that “for a man to train up a child in the way he/she should go, he must walk that way himself.” (BI: Topic: Example; Subtopic: Good; Title: Abraham Lincoln; see Proverbs 22:6).
D. “Our families must see Jesus in our lives” as well as hear of Jesus from our lips (Dan Winkler 507).
IV. [S13] & [S13A] ENCOURAGES HIS CHILDREN (v. 11).
A. (1 Th 2:11 NKJV) as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children,
(1 Th 2:11-12 NIV) For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, {12} encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
B. “Exhorted indicates the pleading and the admonishing which were done by the evangelists” (Kelcy 47).
C. “Exhort” — “His word translated ‘exhorting’ [parakalountes] means to run to one’s side, to one’s cry for help” (Winkler 507).
D. Yes! There IS a need for correction, for discipline. But, there is also a need for ENCOURAGEMENT!
E. [S14] Keith Hernandez is one of baseball’s top players. He is a lifetime .300 hitter who has won numerous Golden Glove awards for excellence in fielding. He’s won a batting championship for having the highest average, the Most Valuable Player award in his league, and even the World Series. Yet with all his accomplishments, he has missed out on something crucially important to him — his father’s acceptance and recognition that what he has accomplished is valuable. Listen to what he had to say in a very candid interview about his relationship with his father:
[S14A] “One day Keith asked his father, ‘Dad, I have a lifetime 300 batting average. What more do you want?’
[S14B] His father replied, ‘But someday you’re going to look back and say, “I could have done more.”’”
— The Gift of Honor, Gary Smalley & John Trent, Ph.D., p. 116
V. [S15] & [S15A] COMFORTS HIS CHILDREN (v. 11).
A. (1 Th 2:11 NKJV) as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children,
(1 Th 2:11-12 NIV) For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, {12} encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
B. 3888. paramutheomai, par-am-oo-theh’-om-ahee; from G3844 and the mid. of a der. of G3454; to relate near, i.e. (by impl.) encourage, console:–comfort.
C. “Encouraged or comforted evidently refers to speaking words of consolation and encouragement to those who were experiencing difficulty in living the Christian life in the midst of severe opposition” (Kelcy 47).
D. “Comfort” — pick them up when they fall; bear their burdens (Galatians 6:2).
E. “Outside this Epistle this verb occurs in the New Testament only in John [11:19, 31], where it is used of comforting the bereaved” (Morris 53).
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(1 Th 5:14 NIV) And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
VI. [S17] & [S17A] CHARGES HIS CHILDREN (v. 11).
A. (1 Th 2:11 NKJV) as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children,
(1 Th 2:11-12 NIV) For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, {12} encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
B. “Charged has within it the idea of solemn declaration of serious words” (Kelcy 47). The word is also used in the following passages:
C. [S18] (Eph 4:17 NKJV) This I say, therefore, and testify [“insist” NIV] in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind,
Remember Erma Bombeck’s statement (quoted earlier)?
“He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them.”
VII. [S19] & [S19A] GIVES INDIVIDUAL ATTENTION (v. 11).
A. (1 Th 2:11 NKJV) as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children,
(1 Th 2:11-12 NIV) For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, {12} encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
B. “Attention to individuals is implied by the expression ‘each one of you’” (Kelcy 47).
C. “His loving care is brought out in his insistence that he had brought the message to every one (the Greek ‘each one’ being more emphatic than the simple ‘each’). In other words he had not contented himself with giving the message in general terms to the Thessalonian public at large, but he had been sufficiently interested in individuals to bring it home to them one by one, evidently in private conversations (cf. Phillips, ‘How we dealt with each one of your personally’)” (Morris 52).
D. A godly father will give individual attention to EACH of his children.
1. Each child is different.
2. Each child needs to understand that they are loved and cared for by his/her father.
VIII. [S20] & [S20A] HAS A GOAL IN MIND (v. 12).
A. To what end? “that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory” — 1 Thessalonians 2:12.
B. “The purpose or aim of these actions” of Paul and the other teachers was that the Thessalonians might “walk worthy of God” (cf. Ephesians 4:1; Philippians 1:27; Colossians 1:10).
C. “Every child must learn how to walk. He must have good models to follow [and patient teachers to instruct]” (WWW 166).
D. “Paul never thinks of man being worthy of God in the absolute sense, that is, insofar as his own meritorious achievements are concerned; he does contemplate the goal of being ‘counted worthy’ upon the merits of Christ” (Kelcy 48).
E. “The expression, worthy of God, describes a life in which man offers to God the very best that he can; it involves the surrendering of man’s will to God’s will. No higher standard can be contemplated than that of leading a life worth of God” (Kelcy 48).
F. [S21] & [S21A] This is “the noblest possible ideal of life” (Findlay in Morris 53).
G. “Who calls you into His own kingdom and glory” – “Christians are in the kingdom of God now (Colossians 1:13). … However, the ultimate end of God’s redemptive work is that men might have ‘an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’ (2 Peter 1:11) and that ‘when Christ, who is our life appears,’ they too ‘will appear with Him in glory’ (Colossians 3:4; cf. 1 Peter 5:10)” (Kelcy 49).
H. [S22] The ultimate goal of godly fathers is that their children go to heaven!
CONCLUSION & INV.
A. [S23] “What Do I Want For Father’s Day?” by Mike Benson (minister of the Kensington Woods church in Hattiesburg, MS).
The two of you seem to struggle with this particular purchase each year. It’s not that you have to give me anything. I understand that you would like to, and I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but it’s not necessary.
I don’t need another tie. (Don’t tell your mother I said that). I have plenty, and the ties I wear, I prefer to pick out myself anyway.
Clothes are hard to buy for me right now. Maybe it’s something in the Hattiesburg water, or it could be all of these great cooks who want to feed the preacher, but I’ve gained nearly 30 pounds since we’ve moved to South Mississippi! (Mom keeps patting me on the belly and asking, “When’s the baby due…?”). Clothes that fit are needed, but finding the right size is something of a challenge. Let me go to the store instead, if you don’t mind.
Books are always good, but unless you know exactly what particular subject I’m studying right now, another volume might just take up precious shelf space.
Your mother and I have been looking at outdoor grills as of late. Ever since we left our Weber in Indiana, the two of us have had this craving for bar-b-que chicken. That would be a special gift, but I know it’s out of both of your budgets—and that’s okay. Roger’s Movie Star chicken is better than anything I could cook up anyway.
[S23A] I’ll tell you what I’d really like; what means the most to me. I’d like your continued faithfulness to the Lord (Matthew 25:23; Ephesians 1:1; Revelation 2:10).
Your mother and I pray for the two of you every day. We always have. Even when you were both just infants in our arms, we petitioned the Lord on your behalf. We prayed that both of you would develop your own faith. We prayed that both of you would find and marry young Christian men who would help you to go to heaven—and vice versa. We prayed that both of you would raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
I could own all of the best ties in the world, I could wear the nicest, best-fitting shirts Turtle Creek Mall has to offer, and I could have the best library in the brotherhood—but these gifts wouldn’t mean anything if the two of your weren’t following the Savior. The truth is, my favorite Father’s Day gift can’t be wrapped up in a package or stuffed into an envelope with a funny
Hallmark card. Your devotion to Jesus Christ is what I covet the most.
Katie, you’ll be headed for Freed-Hardeman, Lord willing, next year, and then both of you will be away from home.
Mom and I aren’t quite prepared for that yet, but the transition will be made easier because we know that you and Bethany…
[S24] Hold certain spiritual priorities (Matthew 6:33; 2 Timothy 1:5):
• [S24A] • Continue to attend worship “every time the doors are open” (Hebrews 10:25).
• [S24B] • Continue to read, study, and investigate the Scriptures (2 Timothy 2:15).
• [S25] • Stay involved in Bible camp, mission works, and VBS (1 Corinthians 15:58).
• [S25A] • Keep yourselves pure (2 Timothy 2:22).
• [S26] • Serve those who are in need (James 1:27).
[S24] I’m proud of you both. You’re wonderful Christian daughters!
Love you, Dad
[S24A] PS: Okay, I take it back, a book would be good too.
B. [S25] (3 John 1:4 NKJV) I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
C. [S26] (blank slide)
SOURCES:
Millergren, Al. “Parent/Child Communication.” Bulletin article. See Family — Parenting file.
Morris, Leon. The Epistles of Paul to the Thessalonians. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries. R.V.G. Tasker, General Editor. Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. 1957.
Sargent, David A. “As a Father … His Own Children.” Sermon #1161.
– – -. “As a Father to His Children.” Sermon #1415.
– – -. “Just Like a Mother.” Sermon on 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12.
Tyler, Ken. “Raising Children.” Bulletin article. See Family — Parenting file.
“Will They Be Christians When They Leave Home.” The Family Builder. See Family — Parenting file.
Wiersbe, Warren W. (WWW). The Bible Exposition Commentary. Volume 2. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1989.
Winkler, Dan. “The Preacher’s Relationship With His Family.” Family, Church And Society Restoration and Renewal. David L. Lipe, Editor. 1995 F-HU Lectureship. Henderson, TN: Freed-Hardeman University, 1995. 504-508.
Ken Tyler gives the following suggestions concerning raising children with fairness:
• “Don’t get into the habit of finding fault with everything your children do. This will provoke them to wrath and fathers are specifically commanded no to do this in Ephesians 6:4 [“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”].”
• Accept your children for what they are. Each child has different strong points and weak points. Yes, encourage them to develop and improve, but have the wisdom to know their limitations. Your children’s lives will be miserable if you constantly stay on them trying to make them accomplish something they do not have the ability to do.”
• “Let your children know that they are going to have the right kind of mama and daddy because you serve God. This will give them the security they need. When you mistreat them, apologize for your wrong conduct and pray with them about it. The greatest thing we can do for our children is for them to see in us a sincere desire to please God and to be a good father and mother.”
–David A. Sargent
