I was reading something recently that focused on a young man expressing his anger at his parents because they didn’t love him. He was ridiculing their claim to be Christians because (in his words) “Christians claim to love others, but that’s a lie because love is unconditional.”
It turns out that he was involved in a lifestyle that his parents believed to be immoral. Because they refused to give approval to his actions, he accused them of not loving him.
Truthfully, I don’t know him or his parents – so I cannot absolutely say that his parents do or don’t love him. But his accusation against his parents, whether he realizes it or not, is a form of manipulation – trying to pressure his parents to “prove that they do love him” by giving their approval to his actions.
Knowing something about parental love, I strongly suspect that his parents love him deeply. But what he either fails to recognize or refuses to acknowledge is – You can love someone without approving of their actions. Sadly, in his efforts to force his parents to approve of his actions, he is foolishly rejecting the truest and most genuine love that he is likely to experience in his entire life.
Is love unconditional? I think it must be. I Corinthians 13:8 says “Love never fails.” It seems pretty obvious that the prodigal son’s dad must have loved him deeply – even when he was involved in a sinful life.
Don’t confuse love with approval. Don’t be so desperate for approval that you forfeit love.
– Ken Stegall
