We have been searching for ways to cause attendance to increase…well, I found the following article and it was titled so that it had to catch my attention. Upon reading it, I
was not convinced that it is the answer to all our needs, but it was amusing. Consider the following parody.
“7 Ways to Boost Church Attendance!” by Larry Acuff
After attending a college football game in Tennessee, Larry Acuff wrote that he had the perfect way to boost church attendance. His seven suggestions follow:
1. Replace the cushioned pews with hard steel benches and remove the backs.
2. Make people sit very close to each other. (Especially close to those whom they don’t know)
3. Let those that smoke sit in front and blow smoke back into their faces.
4. Take the top off the building. There must be something about having a top on the building that keeps people from coming into it.
5. Have someone (likely the preacher) yell real loud into the audio system.
6. Have everyone pay a least $50 to get in: even before they know the outcome.
7. Change services to last three hours instead of just one hour.
With these changes you’d better come early Sunday to get a parking place and a seat ▪ *
What do you think? There must be SOMETHING that can excite and revive our community to greater church attendance. If the above worked for football games…do
you think it might have possibilities for the church? Wouldn’t you think that Bible preaching about the love of God and the cross of Christ would bring in more people to
become regular attenders (fans) than mere football? What think ye?
*In reality, for those that love the Lord, all we need is to read Matt 28:18-20; Eph 4:11-16; II Tim 2:2.
Ivy Conner
