When we have a friend or family member who experiences a crisis, we need to look to Jesus as the standard by which we, ourselves, counsel. Jesus was a man of compassion (Matt 12:15-21). He reached out with His heart in touching peoples’ lives. Even when women were in sin (cf. John 4 & 8:1-11), Jesus dealt with them in compassion. He told them they were in sin but He did so with gentleness and compassion which motivated them to want to live better.
This is so because Jesus saw the image of His Father in every person. When He “violated” the Sabbath law (in the eyes of the Pharisees), it was to be gentle and compassionate with the hurting. The traditions of men would not bind His hands to help. He also met the needs of those who were hurting, whether it was hunger or friendship or physical healing.
Jesus spoke words of comfort, grace, and love. He also emphasized changing one’s behavior. Sometimes we suffer through a crisis because our behavior is not as godly as it ought to be. Jesus was not afraid to tell people they needed to live differently (cf. John 8:11). He also asked sometimes: “Do you want to be healed?” (Mark 10:51; John 5). In that way, Jesus recognized that much healing will come when one accepts responsibility for his or her own behavior and choices.
Jesus also gave hope to the hurting: “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). In that way, and many more, Jesus was an encourager. He looked to pick people up when they were down. He also emphasized the possibility of having peace of mind (John 14:27). To do that, we have to change our thinking sometimes and look at the world from God’s perspective rather than our own. Jesus helped man to see that.
Jesus, of course, also taught, and taught, and taught. Teaching summarizes the life of Jesus nearly as well as any other single word. He admonished others to live right and confronted, even His friends, when they were living wrong.
How could Jesus counsel so perfectly? A summary view of the life and nature of Jesus will point out that we can counsel just as Jesus did. He was always obedient to the Father. Jesus would not counsel in a way that circumvented the will of the Father. He knew His will and He counseled consistent with that will. Jesus was a man of deep faith in the Father and, subsequently, prayed frequently. He also got personal involved in the lives of those around Him. Jesus was open and accessible to anyone who needed Him.
Yes, we can and should counsel like Jesus did.
Paul Holland
