First, the Bible: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:1-3).
To “honor” parents means to respect them, appreciate them, value them and what they do for the family. In teaching our children to honor us as parents, we need to show them the value they contribute to the family. When I was young, our family did almost everything together. My dad did not believe that church work was just for him as the preacher nor for him and mom. We passed out Gospel Minutes together, flyers for VBS, advertisements for gospel meetings.
But we also did work around the house together. When my parents had a vegetable garden, all the kids had to pull weeds and hoe. Once dad bought an old used wooden plow and he pulled it behind our lawn tractor and my brother and I took turns guiding the plow! We did chores around the house together – washing dishes, folding clothes, mowing the lawn the yard, and other house work.
We might teach children to obey that leaves their heart out of their reaction. But if we teach children to honor those for whom they serve (such as parents and / or the family), then they see the broader perspective, the bigger picture. This motivate them to serve from the hearts as opposed to just obedience.
Once when dad needed extra income, he delivered the Atlanta-Journal Constitution on the weekends. And, yes, he got all of us children up at 3 AM on Saturdays and Sundays, with Mom, to throw newspapers. The kids sat in the back, stuffed the newspaper into a plastic bag and handed it over the front seat so Mom or Dad could throw it out the window. But we were not led to believe that this earned money for mom and dad. It was a job for the family. My parents taught us to honor them partly because they honored us.
I had 25 yards that I mowed when I was a teenager. That kept me really busy. But one year, I went to seven different 4-H camps and a week of Bible camp. If I came home from a camp and then it rained, I got behind in my yard-mowing. But then dad would mow for me and (as far as I can remember), he always gave me the income from the yard mowing. Dad was not selfish. He honored me by giving of himself. That’s what my parents taught us kids.
Teach your children that if they see something that needs to be done, do it. If they see something that needs to be cleaned, clean it. In that way, they are honoring their family and helping contribute to the well-functioning of the family.
Paul Holland
