When I was in the fifth grade, I was spanked by one or other parent three times in the same day. I don’t recall experiencing that distinction before or after that specific day. It was a Saturday and the day began with Dad changing the oil in the car. I was riding my bike around the driveway and he warned me not to ride around the oil pan or I might spill the oil. I thought to myself that I was careful enough – and I fell into the oil pan. And dad spanked me. At the time, I thought he was unfair because it was an accident!
Nursing a grudge later in the morning, Mom asked me to set the table for lunch. I was slinging the plates on the table. Mom told me if I threw one of the plates on the floor and it broke, I would get (another) spanking. The very next plate that left my hand slid across the table and landed on the floor and broke. It was an accident! I got spanked a second time. I don’t remember why but I do remember having been spanked a third time in the same day.
Sometimes kids have bad days. Sometimes parents have bad days. Listen to the words of Solomon: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances” (Prov. 25:11).
To help offset those bad days, parents should consider highlighting those good days. When your child has had a good – done his or her chores, brought home good grades, especially if he or she has made improvement in some virtue they have been developing – make a “big deal” out of it. Encourage them for their effort, for their change, for their work, for their attitude. Encourage them for whatever they have done that has helped make that specific day a “red letter day.”
Then, when they have a bad day, it will help them realize that every day is not a bad day. You can even point back to that “good day” as an example of what he or she can do. Also, as you evaluate a “good day” and a “bad day,” encourage your child not to make an important decision when they are having a bad day!
All of us need to hear a “good word fitly spoken.” Fill your child’s days with apples of gold in settings of silver. They’ll have plenty that aren’t.
Paul Holland
