First, the Bible: “He blessed them that day, saying, “By you Israel will pronounce blessing, saying, ‘May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh!’” Thus he put Ephraim before Manasseh” (Genesis 48:20).
This is the final Daily Droplet in this series on “Bible-Based Parenting.” And I have saved the best for last: grand-parenting! Jewell and Ana’s grandparents treated them and us, the parents, well. They minded their own business and did not give unsolicited advice. They asked permission before they did or gave the girls something which the parents might not have wanted. And the values and ethics of the parents were shared by both sets of grandparents. That is a tremendous blessing.
Now it is time for us to be the grandparents with Theodore being close to 18 months old and is about two months from becoming a big brother. I meditate on all the blessings that little Theodore has in his life – godly parents, godly grandparents on both sides, godly aunts and uncles. While Jewell and Jacob will be the primary influences in his life, what other habits or talents or skills or interests might he pick up from any one of these other influences in his life? It is encouraging to know he has so much godly influences to take him forward in life.
We have an elderly member here at Swartz Creek with I have recently visited and she told me her grandson has a picture of him and his grandfather as a screen saver on his phone. And he is 12 years old! And the grandfather is not actually biologically related to him. That’s the power of a grandfather’s influence.
If you are a parent who still has kids at home… take advantage of grandparents! Don’t be afraid to ask advice – from both sets. Take what you can use; but don’t be afraid to reject it if it doesn’t seem to fit your situation. We ought to be wise enough to handle that! Encourage the kids to ask grandparents and even great-grandparents stories about their youth. Grandparents are the best babysitters!
If you are a grandparent… as I mentioned above, be stingy with unsolicited advice. Don’t get your feathers ruffled if your advice is not heeded. We all make the best decisions we can. Ask permission before you give your grandchild something their parents might not want. Don’t overindulge in your grandchildren. Just because you have more liquid funds now than you did 25-30 years ago doesn’t mean you should spend it all on your grandkids! Leave some toys for Mom and Dad to buy. Don’t try to buy your grandchildren’s affections. Being yourself is the best way to gain their love. Be authentic.
Grandparents have lived their parenting years. They have scars, strength, information, and wisdom. They can help relieve stress; they can help settle disagreements. They might serve in other useful ways. Use them. I recently counted that I have prayed for Theodore over 1,500 times just since he was born! Children are better off if they have a close relationship with their grandparents.
Paul Holland
