First, the Bible: “Therefore bear fruits in keeping with repentance, and do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham for our father,’ for I say to you that from these stones God is able to raise up children to Abraham. “Indeed the axe is already laid at the root of the trees; so every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.” And the crowds were questioning him, saying, “Then what shall we do?” And he would answer and say to them, “The man who has two tunics is to share with him who has none; and he who has food is to do likewise.” (Luke 3:8-11)
This Daily Droplets serves as a prelude to an article I will be writing soon for Christian Family magazine on “How to Train a Child to Repent.” The Greek word “repent” means to “change one’s mind.” We see this illustrated in John’s command to the Jews: “bear fruits in keeping with repentance.” The “fruits” refer to the changed behavior, which must be “in keeping with” a changed mind. If you truly change your mind, you will change your behavior.
What about with children? It comes down to training the heart to be sensitive to God’s nature and His commands. When we decide we want to repent, we are going to have to put in some work. Self-control is not easy. Jesus spent many hours, even tears, in prayer to God. Repentance also needs to include the confession of the sin committed. A generic confession is a reflection of a generic (not heart-based) repentance. When the Jews were baptized by John, they “confessed their sins” (Matt. 3:6). It would help if, when you have your child apologize for doing something wrong, you also have them say, “I’m sorry I did….” You might even need to have them say, “Please forgive me.” That also creates a sensitive heart.
Sorrow for sin needs to be felt and it can also be taught (2 Cor. 7:9-10). Teach your children about the love of God and how sin offends that love. Teach them about the love of Christ and how sin is what put Him on the cross. Teach them that sin not only can cause us to lose our souls, but it also greatly saddens God when we choose not to honor Him with obedience.
After you correct your child, have a conversation with him or her. Talk about the offense, why it was wrong, and how they should respond more appropriately. Replacing bad behavior with good behavior is a part of repentance as well. There may also need to be some type of restitution made.
After your child has made the appropriate apology and made amends, put the event behind you both and move forward. Remember that Jesus forgave Peter and reenforced His love and expectations of His apostle (John 21:15-17). And, as always, Mom and Dad, you have to model a penitent heart first, foremost, and always.
Paul Holland
