First, the Bible: “Then Moses went up with Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel, and they saw the God of Israel; and under His feet there appeared to be a pavement of sapphire, as clear as the sky itself. Yet He did not stretch out His hand against the nobles of the sons of Israel; and they saw God, and they ate and drank” (Exodus 24:9-11).
God recognizes the importance of having a meal together. Here, we see Moses, Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu, and the 70 elders of Israel having a meal in the presence of God. There is something about the power of eating together…
Family meals are some of the best, heart-warming memories I have growing up. My dad was too busy serving small congregations and working to support the family (Mom was a stay-at-home-mom most of my childhood) to do much with us kids. But we almost always shared our meals together. It is a time to laugh, to share events from the day, to learn how to carry on a conversation, to cry together as you share concerns… It is a wonderful time to get to know one another.
Rachel and I tried to do the same thing with Jewell and Ana. Especially while we were on the mission field, we ate all three meals together. When we moved back to the US, we ate breakfast and dinner together nearly every night. Depending on Rachel’s work schedule, we might even get the girls awake an extra 30 minutes early, just so the four of us could eat together. I strongly attribute the closeness we have now as adults to that very event and that mentality that was fostered by eating together.
Eating in front of the TV is a conversation-killer. Your focus is on the TV, not each other. You don’t talk about the day; you don’t talk about the frustrations you have experienced. You don’t share biblical teaching. Generally speaking, it’s just not as productive a way to spend time with the family.
You teach children to eat what Mom sets in front of them without being picky. Many wives today would love to have a husband who is not picky! It’s an opportunity to train the children to thank Mom for the food she has prepared, to thank Mom for the time she spent preparing it, to thank all those people who farm and bring the food to your table! I offer a caution though: Don’t force your children to clean their plates. Help them learn how to apportion their food so they can eat what they put out. But forcing a child to clean the plate creates a long-term detrimental mentality that they would be better off not having.
Children should come to the table whether they are hungry or not. As I have suggested, the dinner table is more than food. It is conversation. It is learning. It is sharing. It is praying. It is laughing. It is crying. It is telling stories. It is affirming each other. Don’t ask your children “yes / no” questions if you are wanting to learn about their day! Ask them questions that cause them to reflect and explain. Share how you have applied God’s word to your life.
Yes, God designed meals to be a special time. One day, all God’s children in Jesus Christ will assemble around a table and enjoy a “meal” (Rev. 19:9). Let’s prepare our children for that eventuality.
Paul Holland
