Were your expectations of marriage realistic? Were your expectations too high? Were your reasons balanced between romance and reality?
All marriages change with time and courtship romance does often fade. Romance can disappear entirely – that’s when someone says, “I don’t love him/her anymore.” But romance can also change with the marriage and be expressed in new, more creative ways.
Consider a few definitions of “Romance”: “a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events, characterized by a nonrealistic and idealizing use of the imagination”
“an exaggeration or fabrication that has no real substance”
“the tendency to derive great pleasure from romantic adventures; romantic sentiment”
The problem some people have with romance is that their lives aren’t balanced. They seem to think that romance is the cure for everything – let’s have a date. Let’s go out to eat. Let’s do this, let’s do that. But it doesn’t seem like the relationship is getting any better.
HOW DID JESUS LOVE THE CHURCH?
Ephesians 5:25 – He loved the church & gave Himself up for her
Ephesians 5:29 – He nourishes and cherishes her
“Nourish”: Feed, sustain, foster, promote, develop
“Cherish”: hold dear, take care of, protect
So how did Jesus do these things with His disciples?
He fed them – literally and spiritually
He sustained them – He was patient, tolerant, forgiving
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He promoted them – He gave them the keys to the kingdom and told everybody else to follow their example
He developed them – from impulsive and hasty to calm and thoughtful
Clearly Jesus held His apostles dear to him
He took care of them when they were mad, fearful, worried
He protected them, not from physical death but from spiritual death
HOW TO HOLD ON TO ROMANCE:
Try to forgive – the past and present (Colossians 3:12-14).
Fill that new void with feelings and expressions of love, acceptance, forgiveness and friendship.
Make life easier for your spouse.
Speak lovingly and encouragingly (Colossians 4:6).
Saying thank you, expressing appreciation
Edify – Romans 14:19; 15:2 – Become your spouse’s greatest fan
Break old habits or routines that may be hindering your affection for one another.
Write a love-note to your spouse. It doesn’t have to be poetic or flowery or mushy. It should be short, simple, true and straight from the heart.