Doubts about Yourself
If anything, doubts remind us that we are human. We experience doubt because we are not all-powerful. We cannot change our lives (to a large degree) or our future. We can’t even change our past. We also doubt because we are not all-knowing. We do not always know the right decision to make. We do not always know the repercussions of the decisions we make. In short, we doubt because we are human; we are not God.
Some Christians doubt their spiritual experience. They were on fire for God when they first obeyed the Gospel and they felt His presence in their lives. But, after time, doubt can set in and they begin to question if they truly gave their lives to Christ, if they were truly converted. This happens often with young Christians who were baptized when they were 8 or 10 or even in an atmosphere like Bible camp. Of course, being baptized a second time, as an adult, is an option but much of this type of doubt is just remembering that all of God’s promises are fulfilled in Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 1:20). If we are in Him, we have all we need.
Other Christians doubt their ability in Christ, even elders, deacons, preachers, missionaries, and Bible class teachers. We all doubt, sometimes, our abilities. Sometimes we doubt our capability to the extent that we don’t even try. We are afraid of failure. But, yes, we will fail. I know I’ve said the wrong thing in a Bible study that contributed to the student turning away from the truth. I did not intend to do such, but it happens. What do you do? You recognize the error and realize that you now have insight you didn’t have before.
There is a Peanuts cartoon in which Charlie Brown says, “There’s no problem so big that I can’t run away from it.” One reason we have doubts about our spiritual work is that we measure success in the Lord’s work by worldly standards. It is not our job to be bigger than the denominations. It is our job to be faithful to Christ.
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God doesn’t look at the attendance board. He looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7). God doesn’t look at the contribution. He looks at what we spent on ourselves. Where is our heart? What are our intentions? Do we follow through with what we know in our heart is the right thing to do, even if it ends in failure or mistakes?
Peter was bold and brash when he promised Jesus he would die with Him (Matt. 26:35). When the rooster crowed the second time, Peter went out and wept bitterly (Matt. 26:75), his failure evident to all, recorded in Scripture for millennia.
Following the resurrection, though, Peter received new life. He realized, I’m sure, what you and I need to realize – our failures make us less likely to trust ourselves and our own abilities and more likely to trust in Jesus. “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10).
–Paul Holland