All of us who are married want to be happy. No one says “I do”, wanting a 4-cylinder marriage after a V-8 romance, much less expecting to be divorced one day. What can we do – what can you do – to be a “happy couple”?
A Women’s Health magazine article on Foxnews.com gives several pointers. Its author, Shelia Monaghan, offers these suggestions: Pretend you just met. In other words, go out on dates and talk about something other than the normal, daily mundane topics. Second, don’t watch too many romance movies. She makes a good point here – it’s almost similar to pornography for men. Magazines and movies create unreal expectations which normal people – rather than staged scenes with actors and actresses – cannot fulfill. That creates fake “magical moments” that are unsustainable and impossible to fulfill.
Third, be a beauty to his beast. What she means is to be supportive of one another; invest in each other’s welfare. The apostle Paul will say it this way: “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4). If there is any relationship in which these principles are important to live out, it is in the marriage relationship.
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Fourth – control the booze. I’ve got a better suggestion – get rid of the booze. Nothing good ever comes out of hitting the bottle. Fifth, she suggests you “hold a grudge” as long as it doesn’t spill over into other areas of the relationship. This suggestion is anti-biblical and defies common sense. Who can argue or hold a grudge in one area and it not “spill over” into other areas? Actually, Paul tells us that forgiving as soon as possible is a better act of love: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Eph. 4:31). “Bitterness” here is “grudge.” Put it away.
Ms. Monaghan had five more suggestions but it seems to me that biblical principles on being a selfless, other-centered person is the best way to be a happy couple. If you want better application of biblical principles, I suggest a book by a former professor of mine, Magnificent Marriage: Ten Beacons Show the Way to Marriage Happiness.
