As you might expect from a religion created by man, the message about women is contradictory at worst and confusing at best. With some surprising clarity, Esack writes: “In social and legal matters it is very difficult to avoid the impression that the Qur’an provides a set of injunctions and exhortations where women, in general, are simultaneously infantalized [sic] and ‘pedastalized’ – to be protected, and economically cared for by men, but also admonished and punished if they are disobedient” (180).
What I am trying to do is to help you, my reader, understand how Muslims view women, inherently, and their role in the home and society. Our goal is to understand them in order to convert them to Christ. Men have the leadership role in the Muslim family; “Women in turn are responsible for looking after their husbands’ comfort and well-being, guarding their honor and administering their properties…” (Haneef, 113).
Muslims, of course, practice polygamy, “in order to provide a home and maintenance for every woman in the society and …to make provision for other special situations…” (Haneef, 115). The Qur’an reads: “And if ye are apprehensive that ye shall not deal fairly with orphans, then, of other women who seem good in your eyes, marry but two, or three, or four; and if ye still fear that ye shall not act equitably, then one only…” (Surah, 4:3). Dr. Ahmed (152) did fieldwork in Pakistan in 1980 and found that only 2% of men were polygamous. The vast majority were monogamous.
Again, the Qur’an states: “Men are superior to women on account of the qualities with which God hath gifted the one above the other… Virtuous women are obedient, careful, during the husband’s absence… But chide those for whose refractoriness ye have cause to fear; remove them into beds apart, and scourge them: but if they are obedient to you, then seek not occasion against them: verily, God is High, Great!” (Surah 4:38).
Haneef is a female who converted into Islam. She writes: “An Islamic society is to be free of the degradation of women and the exploitation of their sexuality…” (Haneef, 117). You might very well disagree with her; but if you were trying to convert her, you must understand her perspective. “And one of his signs it is, that He hath created wives for you of your own species, that ye may dwell with them, and hath put love and tenderness between you. Herein truly are signs for those who reflect” (30:20).
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Marriage is based on common beliefs and values. Dating is prohibited so marriage is not based on romance. Muslims may divorce their wives twice (Surah 2:229) but after the third time, he may not take her back unless she has married and divorced someone else (2:230).
Relative to women… Haneef writes that in a Muslim society, the man has the right for his wife’s “beauty and feminine attractions should not be shared with other men, and the same is true of the wife in relation to her husband” (170). Our society, which is viewed by Muslims as a “Christian” society, would be better if we had a more biblical view of clothing and modesty, indeed.
If you have an opportunity to talk to and teach a Muslim, I pray God will bless your efforts.
Paul Holland
