Danylo Kovalenko was 22 years old when he swiped through a dating app and came across 19-year old Diana Haidukova. She messaged him first; his long blond hair and angular jaw reminded her of an anime character she liked. They met, went for a walk, went to dinner, and the whole relationship just took off.
The next six months went by like a blur because Danylo and Diana lived in Zaporizhzhia, Ukraine and their country, which they loved dearly, was under attack. One of Diana’s friends stated that they were “drowning in each other.” One night, as the bombs from Russia fell, they took shelter in a basement and Danylo proposed.
It was less than 4 months since they met, but they were married in a government office. Some of their friends were concerned that they were moving too fast, but there was a war going on and they were determined to spend every moment they could together. This village was only about 20 miles from the front lines of the war.
Eventually, they got somewhat acclimated to the war going on around them. But just a few weeks ago, on the night of October 16th, Russia launched a series of strikes on their village. Several explosions happened close to their family’s apartment, shaking the ground, and they decided to move into the corridor. At the last moment, Diana turned back to grab a few belongings. Danylo ran after her and the two never returned to their family and friends.
In the article I read in The Washington Post, Diana’s sister commented: “I’m so sad we will never be able to see this couple grow old. They would have been the best couple in the world.”
Isn’t it at the heart of our existence of humans to have someone to love and someone to love us? Isn’t it at the heart of our existence that we want to experience the feeling of belonging?
FOR THOSE WHO DON’T FEEL A BELONGING:
1) Be realistic – No one will be loved and accepted by everyone. Even Jesus was not loved and accepted by everyone. And He said, “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master” (Matt. 10:24).
2) Refuse to be offended. Do not take the opportunity to be offended. Paul writes: “Bear with one another, forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you” (Col. 3:13).
3) Get Involved. Sometimes we just need to force ourselves into a situation that causes us to “rub shoulders” with other people. Don’t blame the church for being “cliquish” if you never make an effort to be a part of any activity. If you are always standing back waiting for someone to come to you.
The Hebrew writer said this about the Christians to whom he was writing: “For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints. And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you will not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises” (Heb. 6:10-12).
4) Pay attention to the Primary Love Language – Love others in the way that they need to be loved. This is based on the book by Gary Chapman which teaches that each of us have a “primary” love language: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. How are we interacting with others in their “love language”?
To help others feel loved and feeling like they belong, let’s love them as Christ has loved us.
Paul Holland
