How to Handle Stress (Part 2)

November 1st was “National Stress Awareness Day…” We are considering the prophet Elijah from 1 Kings 19.

  1. 1 Kings 19:9 – God asks Elijah – “What are you doing here?” God calls on Elijah to evaluate himself. We need to evaluate ourselves. Remember that I said that our stress comes from improper expectations?
  1. Does your boss / teachers / spouse have unrealistic expectations of you? What are you going to do about it? You’re going to talk to him/her. You are going to do the best you can with the knowledge and the ability you have. Paul wrote in Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.” And he’s talking to slaves when he writes that and none of us are slaves. So our lives are surely easier than the people to whom Paul was talking. Work as for the Lord.
  2. But if the boss has unrealistic expectations of you and you’re doing the best you can? Then go talk to the boss and clarify his expectations and let him know you want to do better, you just need to know how to meet expectations. Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.” Do not assume! Do not assume! Do not assume you know what expectations are if they are not clear. Talk. Ask questions. Assure your boss that you want to meet his or her expectations, but you need to have a better understanding, if not better training, to meet those expectations.
  1. Elijah, of course, could not talk to Queen Jezebel. Some people cannot be reasoned with. The apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Notice Paul says – “If possible” and “so far as it depends on you…” There are some people, and the fault lies with them, with whom you can’t live in peace or can’t work for in peace. That’s when you put in your two weeks’ notice. But that’s a last resort; let’s not go there if we can help it.
  1. How do you deal with stress at work? Elijah talked to God. We touched on this earlier. Pray. Talk to God about it. Talk to God about your boss / teacher. Talk to God about your stress. Talk to God about your need to be better at your job.

Let’s look at Philippians 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” In this context, “be anxious” is equivalent to “be stressed.” Paul says “be stressed over nothing.” How can you be stressed over nothing? By praying for “everything”! That’s Paul’s prescription for dealing with stress.

Let’s go back to Elijah…

  1. In verse 15, God tells Elijah to go to work… finding help. The help would be in the persons of Hazael, king of Aram, Jehu, king of Israel, and Elisha, a fellow prophet who would serve Elijah and then take over Elijah’s prophesying responsibilities. Find help. Where will you find help? A co-worker? A friend? Someone from church? Use your resources. Are you trying to do more or are you expected to do more than what your resources will allow? Seek for more resources.

    Paul Holland

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CALL ME MARA

Hebrews 12:1 says, “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”  The “great cloud of witnesses” referred to in this verse includes the excellent examples given in the previous chapter (Hebrews 11), those who had faith in God and the good works they did because of that faith.  The good examples we have in the Bible are to encourage us to have the same living faith we need in running the Christian race.  After reviewing many of those good examples for 31 verses, Hebrews 11:32 says, “And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gideon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthah; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets.”

To know and understand the entire “great cloud of witnesses” is what the rest of the Bible is for.  The Book of Ruth contains some of these, and not just Ruth herself.  Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi is another righteous example to encourage us, especially as we see how she handled great trials on her faith.  At one point, she was so discouraged that she asked to be called by a new name, Mara. 

A bitter time

The Book of Ruth begins with an introduction to Namoi and her family, a husband and two sons, and their journey to Moab to escape a famine in Israel (Ruth 1:1-2).  They spent 10 years in Moab, and during that time, Naomi’s husband died, her two sons married women of Moab, and then her sons also died (Ruth 1:3-5).  But being driven from her home by famine, spending a decade in a strange land full of idolatry, and then returning home as a poor and childless widow challenged Namoi’s faith and her understanding.  When she tried to send her two daughters-in-law away before journeying back to Israel, Naomi said, “It grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord is gone out against me” (Ruth 1:13).

Namoi then returned home, and her daughter-in-law Ruth insisted on returning with her.  Ruth 1:19-21 says, “And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved about them, and they said, Is this Naomi? And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?”  In Hebrew, the word “Mara” means bitter.  This was the name the Israelites gave to the place in the wilderness where the water was bitter (Heb. 15:23).  In his own great trial of affliction, Job said he was speaking in the bitterness of his soul (Job 7:11 and 10:1). 

God’s good purpose

Naomi did not fully understand God’s purpose for her trials while she was in the midst of them.  But that should not be difficult for any of us to relate to.  She also did not have the plain words that we have in the New Testament about God working all things together for our good (Rom. 8:28).  Suffering for righteousness’ sake is the pathway by which we grow spiritually to be in the image of Christ (2 Cor. 1:3‑6; 2 Cor. 4:16-17; 12:9‑10; Gal. 3:3-4, Php. 3:10‑15; Heb. 2:10; 5:8‑9; James 1:2-4; 1 Pet. 1:6‑9).  That is why it is necessary for all Christians to suffer persecution for righteousness’ sake (Matt. 13:21; Php. 1:29; 1 Thess. 3:14; 2 Tim. 3:12; 1 Pet. 2:21; 3:9).

God was forming His faithful children in the Old Testament too.  And they also grew spiritually by suffering affliction (Psa. 66:10-12; Prov. 17:3; 25:4).  In Psalm 119:67, the psalmist said, “Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.”  The affliction taught him to keep God’s word and not go astray.  “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes” (Psa. 119:71).  He learned God’s statutes by what he suffered.  “I know, O Lord, that thy judgments are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me” (Psa. 119:75).  God was good and faithful to give him this affliction to help him grow.  Job was being tried that he might come forth as gold (Job 23:10).  The Old Testament prophets also foretold that suffering for righteousness’ sake would be the pathway of spiritual growth under the New Covenant (Zech. 13:8-9; Mal 3:1-4).  Suffering for righteousness’ sake is how Jesus grew to be perfect (Heb. 2:10; 5:8‑9).

Christ’s sufferings are our example to follow (2 Cor. 13‑7; 1 Pet. 2:19‑25) so that we can also grow to be spiritually complete like Christ (James 1:2-4; 1 Pet. 1:6‑9).  Therefore, we should rejoice when we suffer for doing well (Matt. 5:10-12; Luke 6:22-23; Rom. 5:3; 2 Cor. 12:9-10; James 1:2; 1 Pet. 1:6; 3:14; 4:12-16).  That is the way that Christ’s strength is made perfect in us (2 Cor. 12:9-10).  That is how our faith is purified, and how we grow in patience (1 Pet. 1:6-7; 5:10; Rom. 5:3-4; Jas 1:2‑3). 

A happy ending

Once again, that is why we have that great “cloud of witnesses” that we need to follow in running our race to perfection and overcoming sin (Heb. 12:1-4).  James 5:10‑11 says, “Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.  Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.”  Naomi is another example of enduring affliction.  Even when she thought God had dealt bitterly with her, she did not stop serving Him.  And, like Job, she too came to see the pity and tender mercy of God in the end.  God provided a husband for Ruth from among Naomi’s kinfolk, and Naomi then had a new family that God used to provide for her.  And this is the very family that God made to be the ancestors of David, the royal line of the tribe of Judah, and ultimately of Jesus Christ the Son of God.  What happened with Naomi reminds us of what our Lord says in Romans 8:18: “The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”  And 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”

Jon Macon

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The Nation of Israel Today

With the attacks on Israel recently, let’s take a look at what the Scriptures teach about Israel, especially on this side of the cross.

Matthew wrote his gospel for a Jewish audience. Consider these passages: 3:7-10; 8:5-13; 21:18-22; and 21:33-44. What each of these passages show is that since Israel would not repent in their behavior toward God and believe in Jesus Christ, Whom He sent, they would be cast out of the vineyard of God’s people and that vineyard would be given to a nation producing fruit.

The letter of Romans shows clearly that Israel, in mass, refused to accept Jesus and His righteousness as the goal of the Law. In Romans 2:28-29, Paul writes that it is not physical circumcision (anymore) that matters to God. It is spiritual circumcision (which happens when we are baptized into Christ for the forgiveness of sins – Colossians 2:11-12) that matters to God, now. Paul writes in Philippians 3:3 that we (Christians) are the “true circumcision.”

In Romans 4:10-12, 16 (really, all of chapter 4), Paul shows that Abraham was justified (forgiven of his sins) based on his faithful response to God (recorded in Genesis 15) before (and without) circumcision (which happened in Genesis 17). Thus, we will be saved as Abraham was saved, if we respond to God faithfully (and without physical circumcision).

So what does this mean for Jews? Israelites? Descendants of Abraham? Romans 9-11 is a trilogy on the relationship of Israel (on this side of the cross) with the God of heaven. Chapter 9 is focused on how God worked through Israel, through His sovereignty, to bring Jesus into the world.

Chapter 10 is focused on the historical fact that Israel rejected God.  The stubbornness and unrepentant heart of Israel was predicted in the OT. All Israel heard God’s message (10:18, quoting Psa. 19:4). All Israel knew God’s message (10:19, quoting Deut. 32:21 and 10:20, quoting Isa. 65:1). But what was lacking in Israel but prevalent among the Gentiles was a response of faithful obedience (10:16-17).

So, chapter 11 is about the fact that everyone must submit to God. God has not universally saved the Israelite nation nor has He universally condemned the Israelite nation.

Finally, there are a number of passages which teach that the church of Jesus Christ is the “Israel of God” today: Romans 2:28-29; 1 Corinthians 1:2; 2 Corinthians 3; Galatians 3:28-29; 6:16; Ephesians 2:14; Philippians 3:3; Colossians 2:9-12; James 1:1, 2:2, 5:14; 1 Peter 2:9.

The nation of Israel living in Palestine today is not God’s chosen people anymore. Israel served its purpose when it brought Jesus into the world. I seriously question if any “Jew” today can even prove that he/she is a descendant of Abraham!

As God’s elect in Christ, let us continue in our faith and share His news with the lost.

Paul Holland

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We are But Mist James 4:13-15

If you knew that when you laid your head on the pillow tonight, you would wake up in eternity, would you live your life differently today?

The question has been posed, in one form or another, countless times. You may have heard it or read it many times yourself. Even though it is not new, every time I think about this question, I am reminded of the areas of my life that require growth. When we get right down to it, this question challenges us to be better stewards of our time and opportunities.

In matters of stewardship, we will answer to God and God alone. While we may see others and consider that they have failed to properly steward their time or resources, the Bible reminds us not to judge the servant of another (Romans 14:4). What we can and must do, however, is evaluate ourselves.

There are only so many waking hours in a day. Each one of us has different skills, opportunities, and capability to utilize those waking hours. We will not be judged on the basis of what someone else can do or did, but on the basis of what God knows about who we are.

Here are a few questions that we can add to the first question as we seek to be the best stewards of each day:

Did I spend my day seeking opportunities to think about and talk about God?

Did I focus on nurturing relationships that both encourage me for eternity and allow me to encourage others to make decisions for eternity?

Did I turn away from temptation, making use of the way of escape God provides?

Did I seek to grow my talents for God’s glory?

We cannot possibly do a lifetime of good in a day’s time. On our final day, we will not rejoice or lament over a single day’s triumphs or failures, but over a lifetime of decisions. Yet, those decisions happen one day at a time. We will only treat each day the way we should when we view it in the light of eternity. Since we are but a mist, we must focus on the will of the Lord (James 4:14–15)!

Clay Leonard

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Life’s Greatest Questions: Where Did It All Come From?

We are beginning today a short series of lessons entitled: Life’s Greatest Questions. These are questions relative to life and eternity; questions that have real answers; and are some of the most important questions we can ask.

Where did it all come from?

What is the purpose of life?

Where will I go when I die?

Can I know that I will be saved?

Philosophers and scientists have debated these and other questions for centuries, but there really is not debate, objective truth is available concerning each of these matters.

Today we begin talking about the origin of everything. Where did it all come from? There are really only two basic choices. Everything either evolved, or everything was created. There is near consensus that everything either evolved or was created, but there are some who claim that creation and evolution are both true, a seemingly nice political answer, but one that holds no truth in the Bible or in real science.

WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER?

Someone might ask, “Why does it even matter?” The answer to this question goes way past curiosity. Here is just a start as to why it matters:

  1. It changes the way we see ourselves. Or, at least it should. Whether we have descended from God or from the amoeba naturally impacts how we look at ourselves. Either we are created in the image of God, or we are a complete accident and a mere blob of matter.
  2. It also changes the way we look at others. Do we have responsibilities toward our fellow man, or is it just about us?
  3. It changes the way we look at morality in general. If we are merely animated things, what even is morality?
  4. It vastly impacts the way we view the purpose of life. If we evolved, we really do not have any ultimate purpose in this world. Some non-believers say that people do have purpose but that purpose is in the eye of the beholder. In a sense, each one is his own god. Could that be why many choose not to believe in God? They gravitate that way because they are engulfed in self?
  5. If we are a product of evolution, when this life is over, everything is over for us. And there is no ultimate justice for atrocities committed in this world, and neither is there any reward.
  6. If we are created beings, we are accountable to the Creator, and can, and must, prepare ourselves to be with Him forever!

There are other reasons this question matters, but these are sufficient to show that we ought to give serious thought to this matter. Our study will continue.

Daren Schroeder

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“Choose Your Views”

Those who take vacations to the beach know that a room or a house with an ocean view means a higher rental rate.  Many are willing to pay it, though, as watching the rolling waves can be relaxing.

Thanks to a company named LiquidView, you can now choose an ocean view without leaving for the beach.  These virtual windows will show various scenes throughout the day, and you’ll feel as if you are on the beach, on the mountain, in the park, etc.  The scenes are filmed by professional cinematographers in 24-hour loops in high definition, so you won’t ever have to see that dull or ugly view you’re accustomed to seeing from your home or office.  These digital windows, introduced in 2022, are apparently making a splash.  Without a doubt the price will be high.

What if I grow tired of seeing that same beach scene day after day?  No worries; LiquidView promises “an ever expanding content library” that you can browse from your iPhone.  Had enough of the mountains?  Just head for the ski slopes of Colorado, a view from a Manhattan skyscraper, or an evening in the Nevada desert.  It sounds like a win-win (for those who can afford the price).

I don’t expect to ever own property that features such a luxury option, but I have already found a way to choose my views.  When I tire of this world and the sorrow and suffering apparent everywhere, I know how to cope.

Here is the concept, found in Colossians 3:1-3: “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”  By lifting our sights to things above, our view changes for the better.

If we’re running low on motivation, here’s another example of choosing our view: “… let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1,2).  By focusing on Jesus, our appreciation for Him grows and we are moved to be even more diligent in following Him.

The Bible has a number of similar passages, all of which will lift our spirits, renew our zeal, and strengthen our love for the Lord.  But to gain these benefits we must “choose” our views.  Emotions can lead to depression or despair.  Choosing to think on the things of God will improve our moods.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight,” Paul reminds us (2 Corinthians 5:7).  Faith means seeing things that others can’t / won’t see (Hebrews 11:1).  Faith is offered freely to anyone who desires to choose their views of life, but Christ won’t force it upon us.  He stands at our door and knocks, but He won’t batter it down (Revelation 3:20).

Are you weary of the views this world presents to you daily?  Maybe it’s time to choose a better view.  Open your Bible and get started.

Come to the light God offers!  Study His word, the Bible.  Worship Him in spirit and truth (John 4:24).  Get in touch with us if you’d like to discuss these ideas further.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright, 2023, Timothy D. Hall

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Empty Lives

Ghost towns are almost ubiquitous on old western TV shows and movies. Echoes of the past seem to reverberate off the empty store fronts. Those empty buildings are a memory of a distant past, full of laughter, fun, excitement, romance, children, and life. Every year that passes, one more building falls down. More weeds grow up. More wild animals take over. More spider webs appear. Ghost towns are reminders that once something has been abandoned, without the care of continual upkeep, the normal course of events is downward. Death and destruction are the end result.

Unfortunately, too many people have lives that are similar to ghost towns. They have no direction. They have no fire burning in their hearts. They have so substance to their lives. Their minds have no direction. Their hearts have no passion. God is not in their life, so their life is purposeless, hopeless, and without any significant value.

Jesus warns us of the danger of empty lives: “When the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and not finding any, it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it swept and put in order. “Then it goes and takes along seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first” (Luke 11:24-26).

The fact is, we do not “walk” with empty lives for long. Either Jesus fills our hearts or Satan does. But, like the ghost town, if Jesus is not the passion of our lives, we are doomed to decomposition and death.

Paul Holland

 

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Do You Want to Be Great in the Church?

In a real sense, we ought to desire to be “great” in the church today. Each of us may have our own ideas about what it takes to be a “great” member. We may describe a preacher as being “great” because of his ability to deliver much needed and thought-provoking sermons. We may consider an elder as “great” because he always seems to say the right things at the right time. We may consider a Bible class teacher as “great” because she is so effective in delivering her lessons to children. Do you really want to be “great” in the church? We may each have our own ideas about “greatness”, but who would Jesus describe as being “great” today? Let us consider some things he said about being great in the kingdom (the church).

Jesus said, “Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 5.19).”

Jesus said, “Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 18.4).”

Jesus said, “Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant (Mt. 20.26).”

Jesus said, “Whoever receives this little child in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me. For he who is least among you all will be great (Lk. 9.48).”

Do you still want to be great in the church?

Think about it!

Kevin Williams

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Problems Are No Problem

Text: Ephesians 5:22-33
When two people get married, they WILL have problems – but that doesn’t mean they have “A PROBLEM”
Introduction:

Before I begin, I need to take a survey, to learn who I’m addressing:

FIRST GROUP: how many folks here are married? (If so, raise your hand.)

SECOND GROUP: how many folks here have maybe at least briefly entertained the hypothetical thought that there is a remote possibility that you might someday be married in the far distant future? I’m not asking if you have any immediate prospects or intentions, but just whether you have given the possibility some thought?

THIRD GROUP: finally, how many here are currently making a determined effort to avoid matrimony?

This morning I will share a principle that can reassure the first group, prepare the second group, and maybe encourage the third. Here’s the good news about marriage: when two people are married, they WILL have problems – but that doesn’t mean they have “A PROBLEM.”

We need to know that, because when we first marry, we enter matrimony with lots of EXPECTATIONS, but very little EXPERIENCE. And that unavoidable fact can lead to unrealistic expectations.

AND, unrealistic expectations just might lead to unrealistic disappointments. In fact, unless two people understand this principle, their relationship runs the risk of following a predictable but poisonous pattern. Let’s consider a couple we’ll call JACK & JILL.

The first step in this pattern is DIFFICULTIES: Jack & Jill have not been married long when a problem pops up that need to be resolved: car breaks down, money is tight, in-laws want to visit for third weekend in a row, someone gets sick, etc.

This can lead to a DIFFERENCE: That is, Jack proposes one response to the difficulty, and Jill suggests a different solution, and the newlyweds make the shocking discovery, “My partner doesn’t see it my way. We’re not always going to think exactly alike.”

We hadn’t been expecting that. And now we’re headed toward a DISAGREEMENT: Jack won’t back down – Jill digs in her heels. Call it ego, say it’s stubbornness, label it pride: for whatever reason, each insists on “my way.”

Now we’re experiencing DISILLUSIONMENT: “It’s not supposed to be this way.” Their fantasy of a frictionless marriage is shattered, their bubble of bliss is burst, and to tell the truth, both Jack and Jill are just a little bit resentful.

heir inability to easily reach agreement leads each to formulate a DEFINITION: In their minds they begin to think, “We have a PROBLEM” (with a capital “P”), and now come the critical step in this progression: Jack & Jill both formulate a theory to define what’s wrong. They have lots of different theories to choose from: and if they draw a blank, they can turn to friends, or to a thousand different books, or even to Ophrah! Jill may begin to define the “P”roblem as: “It’s because he doesn’t love me,” or, “he’s inconsiderate,” or “he’s a man.” Jack may choose the ever-popular, “She’s just like her mother”. (Of course, since all relationships are created by two people, the only way Jill can be just like her mother is if Jack is exactly like her father!) And either of them may select the all-purpose, “I think you need to see a psychiatrist.” But did you notice, all these definitions share the same common presupposition: that all assume, “The problem with US is YOU”! (One sign a couple is in this stage – when they argue, they use the words “You always…you never”.)

The next step is DISTANCE: Once Jack & Jill have settled on their theory, they begin to notice signs they hadn’t seen before that confirm their theory. Jill begins to realize that he often forgets to put his socks in the hamper, and of course he wouldn’t do that if he truly loved her. Jack starts to notice that when they argue, she gets a wild look in her eye – maybe she really is crazy! And since our assumptions affect our attitudes, they both begin to withdraw, just a little. They start neglecting the little acts of affection, the loving gestures of romance, even the common courtesies of shared life.

Now each begins to experience DISTRUST: Jack and Jill start to have second thoughts about their marriage. They wake up one morning, look at the person on the pillow next to theirs, and ask with a sinking feeling: “What have I done? Who is this stranger I married? Did I marry the wrong one?” Then finally, sadly, the last step in this cycle is……

DIVORCE! What started out as a relatively minor difficulty has escalated, step by step, into a marriage-ending fiasco! Jack & Jill go down the hill, to enrich a pair of lawyers.

Ah, but I have good news! We can interrupt this sad cycle at any stage in the process, but this morning I want to focus on the easiest place to intervene – the beginning! Here’s where our principle comes in: When two people marry, they WILL have problems – but that doesn’t mean they have “A PROBLEM”! Two reasons this principle is helpful:

First, it provides a realistic, healthy perspective by reminding us that problems and difficulties are part and parcel of marriage – indeed, of life itself! Isn’t life a continual series of obstacles to be overcome, challenges to be faced?

And second, it helps us understand that it is possible for two good people, each with the best of intentions and both very much in love with each other, to approach situations with completely different perspectives, and find themselves at cross-purposes.

Body:

Let me give you a personal illustration to demonstrate what I’m talking about. Theoretically, I’m supposed to know what a “NORMAL” family looks like. After all, I regularly preach sermons on “The Christian Family”! And I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist – I have a graduate degree, and a license, and people pay me money to help them with their family problems. So if anybody ought to experience smooth sailing on the sea of domestic bliss, it ought to be a professional marriage counselor, right? Let me give you a peek into the Williams’ household, to explain how two people approach difficulties from very different perspectives:

One night late last winter I was going around the house, closing it up for the evening. The rest of the family had already gone to bed, and so I was checking the doors to see if they were locked, turning off the lights, etc. At the very end of this routine I always open the door from our sunroom to the garage, reach up, and push the button that shuts the garage door.

Just as I reached for the button, I heard it! MEOW! One of those pesky neighborhood cats had gotten into our garage! This had happened once before. On a previous occasion I had accidentally shut a cat up overnight, and the next morning the whole garage was just stinking to high heaven. I slipped on my shoes, and went out into the garage to shoo the cat out so I could shut the garage door for the night. I found the cat, and was herding it out the door, when for some crazy reason only a cat can understand, it suddenly turned and darted behind me, and ran right into the storage room at the back of our garage!

Unfortunately, that room was crammed with boxes and toys and junk that we had been collecting for a yard sale. There were dozens of places for a cat to hide! And it did hide – but again, for some crazy reason only a cat can understand, it kept going “MEOW,” “MEOW”! I finally found it hiding in a corner behind some boxes, and managed to push it out the door of the storage room and back into the garage and it was headed out of the garage…..but just then my wife Gina came out of the house to see what all the commotion was about. The cat took one look at her, got spooked, and turned around again and ran right past me and back into the storage room!

Being a very considerate and sensitive person, I did what any husband would do. I yelled at my wife, “You’re scaring the cat!” Now, I expected her to go back into the house, but she didn’t. Instead, she made what was, from her perspective, a perfectly logical decision: she opened the driver’s side door to the van and got in. To her that made perfect sense – she could still watch what went on, without distracting the cat! I went back into the storage room, rummaged around once more, finally located the cat, drove it out and got it headed for the outdoors once more; only this time it promptly ran under the van and jumped up into the engine compartment! Have you ever tried to find a cat that’s hiding somewhere in the undercarriage of a minivan? There are a surprising number of places to hide under there!

I took a broom, and tried to poke the cat to make it come out, but I couldn’t get to it. So now my wife, who is sitting behind the steering wheel, decides to help from inside the car, so she made what was, from her perspective, a SECOND perfectly logical decision. She sees that I’m not having any luck getting the cat out of the engine compartment, and she figures the cat needs some motivation, so she reaches down and starts the motor!

She started the engine, and I waited, but no cat appeared, so Gina then made a THIRD perfectly logical decision: she figures if the car is moving it will cause the cat to bail out, so she puts it in gear and starts to back out of the garage. Meanwhile I make what is to me a perfectly logical decision: if that cat jumps out, there’s no way I’m letting him get past me and back into the garage for the third time – so I’m following along, swatting at the front of the car with my broom, trying to head the cat off so he wouldn’t streak past me once more and zoom back into the garage.

When we got all the way out of the garage Gina made her FOURTH perfectly logical decision; she decided the best way to prevent the cat from running back into the garage a third time would be to shut the door; she reached up and pushed the remote control on the sun visor there in the van, and the door came rumbling down. So picture this scene: Gina is in the driver’s seat, the car is still backing up, I am following along swinging my broom at the front of the van, the garage door is sliding down behind me, and the cat is still hiding under the van. So now Gina made her LAST perfectly logical decision: if the cat won’t jump out on his own, she’ll take a quick spin around the block and throw him out. She backs on down the driveway, puts it into drive and takes off like a rocket, and is gone about 7 or 8 minutes.

Meanwhile, I’m standing there in front of the garage door with my broom when suddenly I realize three things:

FIRST, it is about 40 degrees outside and I’m standing in the driveway in my pajamas and my bare feet.

SECOND, since she closed the garage door behind me, I can’t get back into the our house.

And THIRD, I remembered that our neighbor’s picture window had a terrific view of our garage door! And it struck me what this whole scene must have looked like; because what they would have seen would be me chasing my wife out of the house with a broom, and her zooming off in the car.

Now, at every step of the way, each of us had made what seemed to us to be perfectly logical decisions: but when you put the whole process together, both of us found ourselves at cross-purposes, and the whole thing probably looked crazy from the outside! Now friends, that’s an episode in the life of a perfectly normal marriage!

Conclusion: 3 APPLICATIONS

PRINCIPLE #1. Good marriages are NOT relationships where two people always think exactly alike, and never experience problems: they are partnerships where two people USE their differences to SOLVE their problems!

Here’s a realistic rule of life: In any family, even in the best of families, life is just one crazy thing after another! How, you may ask, do I know if I’m from a dysfunctional family? In a sick family, life is the same crazy thing, over and over!

We should learn to appreciate God’s gift of DIFFERENCE! “helper suitable for him”
One of the great ironies of marriage: we marry someone of the opposite sex, in part because they’re not like us – then spend years fighting because we’re not the same!

PRINCIPLE #2. Most of the time, the “problem” is not the problem – how we REACT is the problem!

Did you ever notice how many times the Bible tells us not to make the way we treat people dependent upon the way they treat us? To take the initiative? To act, not react?

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

We can’t control our circumstances: but we can control the way we REACT to them! And anywhere in that pattern I described we can interrupt the cycle by taking responsibility for OUR actions and attitudes. Here’s a Biblical prescription for healthy relationships: Romans 12:17, 21 – “Do not repay anyone evil for evil……. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

3. And finally, the most dangerous threat to any marriage is NOT the presence of PROBLEMS, but the absence of POSITIVES!

John Gottman’s book: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Dr. Gottman studied married couples over decades. One of his discoveries: the most significant factor in predicting marital success was NOT how many problems a couple encountered, but how many positives they practiced: how many acts of kindness, consideration, affection.

And Gottman even came up with a ratio: 5 to 1. As long as there are 5 times as many positive interactions as negative, the couple’s relationship will succeed. I suspect the reason the incompatibility cycle escalates is because once we start feeling sorry for ourselves, we stop being considerate of our partner! Don’t forget the positives!

Conclusion:

So here’s two pieces of advice from Scripture: FIRST, don’t forget to do your part! HUSBANDS, love your wives, cherish them, nourish them – WIVES, respect your husbands, be a partner, make them a leader. Don’t get so wrapped up in trying to change your mate that you forget to love them!

And second, remember: when two people are married, they WILL have problems- but that doesn’t mean they have A PROBLEM! If we do our part, and appreciate our mate’s perspective, then “problems” are NO PROBLEM!

Dan Williams

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Filled with Compassion Mark 1:40-45

Years ago at a railroad station in NJ, a little girl stepped up to a shackled criminal and looked tenderly into his face and said, “Oh man, I am so sorry for you.”

It made the man angry and he tried to hit her. The girl’s momma came over, drew her away, and told her to leave the man alone.

As they waited for the train, the mother’s eyes were distracted and the little girl wandered back over to the criminal. She whispered to him, “Poor man, Jesus Christ is so sorry for you.”

The man started to move toward her, let out a low groan, and did nothing further.

The train came, took them all to their destinations, but the two never saw each other again. But years later, the man left prison a Christian and a preacher. He would often tell how the compassion of Jesus Christ, from the lips of a little child, broke his heart, subdued his spirit, and led to the salvation of his soul.

Family, it is not ultimately our sympathy that men need; it is His!

THE SCOURGE OF LEPROSY:

The leper who came to Jesus would have had some type of skin condition. He would have been isolated from his family and friends. He could not go to the temple to offer animal sacrifices. I suppose that he would have been believed incurable, otherwise, he would have just waited it out.

THE ATTITUDE OF THE LEPER TOWARD JESUS – Mark 1:40:

This leper ignored the conventions of society and came to Jesus, breaking the taboo of social conversation. The text says he “beseeched” Jesus. This verb is used over 100 times in the NT; it is often translated “comfort” or “encourage.”

Notice this man’s humility: he falls on his knees. How much humility do you have to have to fall on your knees before someone else?

JESUS’ COMPASSION – 1:41-42:

Jesus was “moved with compassion.” This verb is used a dozen times in the NT, always in the gospel accounts, about Jesus or someone in a parable who represented Jesus.

What does compassion move you to do? What does compassion move me to do? Am I someone who would be characterized as a compassionate person?

Do I forgive?

Do I encourage?

Do I tolerate other people’s weaknesses?

Do I serve?

Do I help?

How can we be more compassionate?

By remembering what God has done for us, despite the fact that we don’t deserve it.

By remembering what others have done for us, when we haven’t deserved it.

By remembering that we will be judged based on whether or not we have showed compassion on others…

Let’s look at James 2:14-24. Please observe that James uses the verb “justified.” “To be justified” is salvation language. You could easily paraphrase that last statement by saying, “You see that a man is saved by works and not be faith alone.” Of course, the foundation for our salvation is not our works; its our response to the blood of Christ. But God will most certainly taken into consideration our eternal salvation whether our not we have worked to serve those who need our compassion.

JESUS’ FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS – 1:43-45:

Jesus did not need to be hindered in His work; He did not need to have His claims to be the Messiah brought into the public view too early. He was working on His Father’s time schedule, so He sternly warned this man not to tell anyone about His healing but Jesus sent him away, commanding him to follow through with what the Law of Moses had commanded (ver. 44).

However, the healed leper was far too excited and thankful to keep quiet about his healing (ver. 45). He “preached” (“proclaimed freely”) about Jesus all over Galilee so that the fame made it difficult for Jesus to enter publicly the city. He had to stay in “unpopulated” areas. Yet people continued to come to Him and He healed those who came to Him.

Isn’t that the ideal end result of us having compassion on people? They have to tell people about the Jesus who motivated us to have compassion on them. We make Jesus look good when we are compassionate. Of course, the opposite of that is also true; when we fail to be compassionate toward people, we make Christianity and the Christ look badly.

Christ leads us to actively show compassion on those around us.

Paul Holland

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