Stephen Covey writes in his books about having highly successful lives and families, is to begin with the end in mind. When it comes to biblical wisdom for modern parenting, that concept is surely valid. The wiseman tells us in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” A parent should hold in the forefront of his and her mind a clear vision of the kind of person they want their child to be when the child is thirty years old.
Today’s parents focus too much on the short-term goals, like good grades or getting to soccer practice. They keep themselves so busy that they have little time to think about what their long-term goals are for their children and whether their current activities help or hinder those long term goals.
Do we really want our children to be arrogant and materialistic when they grow up? Surely not. But does our daily activities reflect that idea? Do we act like the world revolves around them? Do we act like the accumulation of material goods is what life is really about?
Megan McArdle wrote a book entitled, The Upside of Down: Why Failure is the Key to Success. Too many parents today are scared to death that their child is going to fail and that’s why they turn into “helicopter parents.” We are training our children to depend on our initiative instead of taking their own initiative and either experiencing failure (which leads to growth) or success (which leads to healthy self-image).
Proverbs 22:6 has little to do with getting good grades in school. It has little to do with making the T-ball team. It has a whole lot to do with teaching biblical values and Christ-like character.
I’ve been studying the book of Exodus in-depth lately and I want to share something with you. Let’s read Exodus 4:22-23. This is God’s message to Moses to take to Pharaoh with God’s people, Israel, being in slavery in Egypt.
Notice that God gave Pharaoh: 1) His expectants: “Let My People go.” 2) The reason: “Israel is My firstborn.” Then 3) The consequences: “If you don’t, I will kill your firstborn son.” Then, God stepped back and allowed Pharaoh to exercise his free will, to submit his will to God’s will and do what God expected him to do.
When Moses first appears before Pharaoh in chapter 5, notice Moses’ message to Pharaoh in 5:1: “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘Let My people go…’” God will repeat Himself to Pharaoh the exact same message in the following passages: 6:11; 7:2, 16; 8:1, 20; 9:1, 13; 10:3.
When I was in graduate school at FHU studying education, I was introduced to a method of classroom discipline by Lee Canter called Assertive Discipline. In his “assertive discipline” method, he encourages teachers to give their commands, their instructions, their expectations, and keep repeating themselves every time the student wants to fuss and to argue. Repeat yourself: “I said to do such and such.” Well, before Lee Canter wrote his book on Assertive Discipline, God gave us His behavior as a pattern.
I have counted nine times that God repeated Himself to Pharaoh: “Let My people go…” Now, God had already told Moses to tell Pharaoh that if he did not obey, the consequences were going to be severe (4:22-23). God did not tell Pharaoh when he would take his first born son’s life. In fact, God did not tell Moses that he would bring nine plagues on Egypt before he took the life of his first born son. Pharaoh had ample opportunity to humble his heart, change his behavior, quit thinking that he was his own master, and submit to the powerful God of heaven. But he refused to obey ten times before God finally brought the law down on him.
If you want to learn how to parent biblically, look at God’s method of parenting: God gave Pharaoh: 1) His expectants. 2) The reason / motivation. Then 3) The consequences. That’s how you parent biblically.
We ought to give our primary consideration in parenting to this long-range vision.
Parent with the end or long-term goal in mind and don’t get distracted with the immediate hassles in life.
Paul Holland
